itgoeswell: The Doors // Break On Through
If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I’d probably just start calling out...– Demitri Martin
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good...– Mitch Hedberg
If a Dog Were Your Teacher…
If a dog were your teacher, you would learn stuff like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory. Take naps and stretch before rising. Run, romp, and...
I was told in school that practice makes perfect, then i was told that...– Steven Wright
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.– Dalai Lama
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get...– Steven Wright
All that you touch You Change. All that you Change Changes you. The only...– Earthseed: Books of the Living
We Are Scientists - The Great Escape →
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